Updated: Sep 13
27th January 2019
Looking at the hills and dead trees passing by, being dressed by snow that was descending from the dark skies, as I was resting in the train, I couldn’t help but relive the ethereal experience from the day before. The music, the church and the attire of everyone in the chamber. God, that’s how it should be done if you ask me. The elegance and class in the event were unparalleled and the bride and bridegroom felt like they were made for each other.
Our train was rushing from Florence to Rome with an hour delay, I still could not get over it. Supriya was listening to songs sitting right in front of me with her eyes closed. Though she kept complaining before the trip that she will be losing an entire week during her thesis and would only like to attend at the weekend, I straight out issued an ultimatum that she just had to attend the entire week. In the end, she was much more glad than I was that she attended the entire event.
This marriage certainly made me finalise as to how I would like to get married. As much as I insisted that marrying in a Church would be poetic and unique at least for me, Supriya always kept insisting since the first day that she would like to get married in a temple. Now that we had witnessed a wedding that was nothing short of a visual feast, I leaned towards her in the silent coach and whispered, “Still want to get married in a temple?”
Adorning a smile, she replied, “Do you think one fancy wedding in a church would make me reconsider my choice?”
Smiling back, I asked, “How about both ways?”
Pulling off her earbuds, she thought about what she intended to say for a while before trying to put it as politely as possible by saying, “You would need to start negotiating for any of it to happen, darling.”
That’s it. Before I even noticed, my face took its turn to show how disappointed I was about what she just said. At the time, I couldn’t agree more with what she had said but as usual my external personality somehow never fails to listen to my internal self and this always causes a lot of problems in the way people perceive how I take feedback.
Not bothering about how I expressed myself, I started thinking about what could be the worst consequence of my marriage discussion with my parents? The answer I could get was that I might be disowned.
Though this troubled me now and then. Maybe because I didn’t know if I was in a position to leave my relational title like a professional one and even if I would be willing to, what would happen if I never reconciled with my parents over time? Would that be the last of our bond? What if I would regret leaving them a couple of years down the line?
While I spiralled down in my chain of thoughts, Supriya said, “It took them nearly two years, Karan, for that wedding that you fell in love with to happen. How long do you think our parents might take?”
This got me out of the thought of being disowned and got me thinking, what if I were to give them time and wait until they accepted? Would they at least respect my choice over time? Would they reconsider their rejection?
The only answer I could find was that our friends’ parents took two years to accept but they eventually did so because there was rationality and mutual respect between them and their children. As a matter of fact, they even valued their children’s choices. However, I was not so sure if my parents were the same. Forget mutual respect, I didn’t even know if my parents would even listen to my side of the story once I had told them that I was in love.
Each passing thought made me feel more and more anxious so I just stopped thinking for a while and Supriya just stared at me helplessly. There wasn’t anything either of us could do to help the situation. But there was a tiny bit of hope for me witnessing the backstory behind Seby and Lavanya’s marriage. If Lavanya’s father, who is an orthodox Brahmin, could see the real potential of Sebastian and let his daughter marry in a Church, I could see my parents eventually comprehending the real worth Supriya would add to our family.
With that thought, a smile appeared on my face and Supriya felt relieved.
For a moment, I could see myself with Supriya taking our oaths before the flame adorned in yellow and white just as Sebastian & Lavanya stood before the divine messenger to take their oaths adorned in black and white.
That thought got me thinking, what if patience and time are the keys to making it work? What if we waited for a couple of years like Seby and Lavanya did to make their parents accept?
Though there was a part of me that said those factors won’t help, there was still hope that if patience is the key and time is the price, why not pay a good amount to achieve what is needed?
Even then, if it would be irrationality, arrogance and inherited traditions that they would prefer, then I was ready to take every last accusation levelled against me and lead a life with no regrets. Personally, I thought that would be the least I could do for my cute bride!
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