Her Choice

It was just another normal day at college until lunch break, because out of nowhere he came and stood before me proposing in the corridor that led to our class. It was unbelievable to even realise how the moment I had wished for years didn’t make any difference when it really happened. 

We had been friends since the first year of our bachelor’s, and it was no secret that I admired him so much that all our friends teased us about our dynamic from the first semester itself.

He honestly had a lasting impression on me ever since we first met. Maybe I was too gullible back then, or maybe he had a vibe that made me feel I was pretty close to him for no reason, and life felt like a fairy tale with love in the air.

In the first year, I didn’t say a word but always hoped he would propose, but he didn’t. In the second year, my love for him kept growing, and my hopes were off the charts, considering we were now seniors and couples kept popping up every day in our class, but he didn’t. Not wanting to waste a single day in our third year, I proposed on the very first day of our fifth semester, but to my surprise, he mentioned that I wasn’t the love of his life.

Maybe because I didn’t even think that could be a response, I was shattered. I felt a pain that couldn’t be explained, and with every passing moment, I had this terrific realisation that my dreams would just continue being dreams and nothing more. My crazy ideas of us being together had, in fact, no place in the face of reality, and there I was, lonely and rejected.

Cover Photo by Ravindra Patoju

It took a long time to accept the truth that he didn’t have any feelings for me, and in this journey, I realised it was neither the end nor even a big deal. I understood that it was just my presumptions and misunderstandings that led to this bitter spot in my life.

At the same time, I realised that this clown, who had clearly known the vibe between us for about two years, never even took a moment to clarify it. However, he had the audacity to tell me, “You are just a good friend to me and have always been since the beginning.”

After going through the cycle of rejection that was absolutely unnecessary now that I think of it, I got to know that my hero had his eye on another classmate of mine for a while now. They shared a vibe, apparently. It was no secret that she had her own appeal, but so did I. But for some reason, she attracted him. The same person who stood before me had actually proposed to her just a month ago and got a reality check when she called him a brother.

Now somehow, he stood before me as if nothing had happened and plucked a budding sunflower from one of the pots on either side of the corridor before saying, “I’m sorry for not respecting our bond, and I truly wish to take care of you…”

Maybe there was a part of him that just wished, I would say, “I don’t care about what happened, and all I want is to be with you from now and forever.”

Looking at me staying silent, he acknowledged, “I gave my heart to a heartless person who never understood me in life. She made me realise your worth and how much you truly mean.”

His statement made me realise I had to give him my best now, and I just couldn’t help but be baffled by the way he treated me as an object.

On that sunny afternoon, as the hot air filled the space between us, relishing the scene with a smile, I replied, “Fuck off, jackass!”

And God, nothing ever felt sweeter.

Poised Protagonists

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Credits

This story was written by Chethana Nagulapalli, edited by Edlyn D’souza, & Sreekar Ayyagari and photographed by Ravindra Patoju.

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