On a rainy night, Naveena arrived ten minutes early at the restaurant they planned to meet at and without wasting a minute, she ordered their meal and waited for him. Pouring herself a glass of water, she thought about how to approach the topic she very much intended to talk about that evening. As much as she knew he would understand, there was a part of her that couldn’t help but wonder how he would react. But to calm herself, she kept reminding herself, “After everything we have been through, he will understand.”
Taking a sip, she checked her watch, and unless she could magically make ten minutes disappear, she knew there was no way he would arrive early. Taking a deep breath, she rethought if this was the right time to discuss her decisions and decided to maybe not talk about it. She felt two hands on her shoulders.
When she turned around, there he was. Not just early but even dressed formally in a formal full-hand shirt. He looked sharp in his haircut and neatly trimmed beard. With his eyes widened, he said with a smile, “Look who has become an aunty!”
Returning a beaming smile, Naveena replied, “And look who has finally become a man!”
As he widened his arms, Naveena embraced him tightly before he embraced her back nearly four years later. Settling on either side of the table, both of them sat in silence for a moment before the waiter placed a plate of spicy noodles with a bowl of Manchurian. Putting a plate of vegetable fried rice before Prachin, the waiter spilt diced onions on the noodles and Manchurian before Naveena picked up the ketchup bottle from the centre of the table and squeezed it in a zig-zag fashion on the whole.
The waiter spilt chopped coriander on the fried rice and placed a bowl of Raita and a bowl of chickpea curry on the side. He then placed a glass filled with ice cubes and cola beside Naveena and a glass of water with a lemon on the side beside Prachin.
Wishing them to enjoy their meal, the waiter left before Naveena picked up her fork. Glancing at her, Prachin asked, “As much as I want to appreciate your memory regarding my choice of food, I’m more curious to know why you summoned me.”
With a smirk on her face, Naveena pierced her fork into a Manchurian ball as she said, “I’m hoping to apply for a divorce, and I wanted to discuss it.”
Leaning back in his chair, Prachin was no longer hungry. Picking up his glass of water, he took a sip as he noticed Naveena relishing her lunch while staring at him. Looking around for a moment to notice the nearly empty restaurant and cursing his fate, Prachin hesitantly asked, “It hasn’t even been a year, right? What went so wrong?”
Pointing her fork towards him, Naveena warned with a smile, “I’ll only tell you if you promise me to not parrot my parents’ words!”
Unable to believe how jovially she was approaching the topic, Prachin nodded in agreement before she completed him by saying, “My husband doesn’t have a personality.”
Utterly confused, Prachin faltered as he said, “Personality? I thought… I thought he cheated or abused you or something.”
Picking up another ball, Naveena smiled as she said, “Cheat? The man barely spanks his wife passionately without checking on her.”
Controlling his smile and realising there might be a hidden motivation, Prachin asked, “Are you quoting the wrong reason not to be judged?”
Staring at her ex, Naveena replied, “You think our bedroom dynamic could be the cause? That question is beneath you.”
Accepting defeat, Prachin apologised, bowing his head. For a moment, silence prevailed before Prachin repeated, “Personality? Seriously, personality?”
Twirling her fork to hold noodles, Naveena asked, “Have you ever wondered what I must have told myself to walk away from you even after spending the last two years in a long-distance relationship with you?”
Recalling the memory of how it happened via a phone call, Prachin replied, “I always told myself that you gave up on us hoping to settle with someone better.”
Looking at him for a moment, Naveena replied, “Yes, I gave up because I could no longer spend my life craving to be loved, felt or even listened to in person, and I just didn’t want to do it any longer.”
Feeling comfortable with how the darkness around them made them feel in a world of their own, Naveena carefully continued, “I gave up hoping that I would get someone who would love me as I wished to be loved.”
Glancing at her through the lamplight above the table between them, Prachin replied, “Well, the Gods heard your prayer. It turns out, your husband not only tries his best to keep you happy but even offers you unparalleled privilege.”
Placing her fork on her plate, Naveena sadly replied, “You know… it feels bad to know that I gave you that impression.”
Regretting his choice of words, Prachin clarified, “Well, believe me, I’ve had a different impression in the past. I’ve had such a good impression that it would seem too far-fetched now, but my suppositions were shattered when you flipped my life like a pancake over a phone call.”
Unable to feel bad for herself anymore, Naveena remarked, “I was not the one who left without even a discussion about my masters, and I wasn’t the one who kept my distance during my failure.”
Getting defensive about his actions, Prachin defended, “Ever heard of depression?”
Picking up her fork, Naveena replied, “Ever heard of loneliness?”
Looking into each other’s eyes for a moment, Naveena continued eating, and Prachin picked up his spoon to take a spoonful of fried rice. As he tasted it, Naveena continued, “Anyway, I moved on and let my father auction me in hopes of finding someone meaningful.”
Fedup with this need to be meaningful, Prachin asked, “Except for personality, what is that your husband doesn’t have?”
Continuing to fiddle with her noodles, Naveena opined, “Well, as much as I admire his passion for making a living, he is nothing more than that.”
Observing the confusion on Prachin’s face, Naveena clarified, “It is like the thing we have been told all our life. Good earnings imply good life, but my husband and his family take it to the next level. All they ever care about is making good money, and their entire thought process and actions are defined accordingly. Beyond that, nothing matters.”
Adding a spoon of curry and Raita, Prachin mixed the rice as he critiqued with a raised eyebrow, “You are living in a first-world country, wearing branded clothes, dine at restaurants only a countable number of people can and travel to places millions of people dream to visit while being stacked with wealth because of him.”
Crushing another Manchurian ball, Naveena enquired, “Do you think applying for a divorce is daffy?”
With a smile on his face, Prachin suggested, “No, I think you shouldn’t be so judgemental about their thought process when they don’t misuse or brag about it.”
Nodding in disagreement, Naveena countered, “I can when my life is bound in this equation of acquiring unending wealth and we as a couple at the end of the day wouldn’t have lived the life we could have if we were a little contended.”
Taking a sip of lemonade, Parchin stated, “You don’t get to remain rich for long with contentment.”
Pointing her fork towards him, Naveena exclaimed, “Words my husband not only utters but even lives by.”
Taking a deep breath, Parchin said, “But the very thought of getting a divorce in your case is like cancer appreciating its growth. In reality, it’s doing nothing short of killing itself and its host.”
With a smirk, Naveena asked, “Then I wonder what disease would you quote for being devoured by an unending ambition so much so that it becomes your life’s pursuit?”
Looking into her eyes, Prachin remained silent, and Naveena finished her noodles. Sipping her cola, she confessed, “You know when we used to watch stories of princesses waiting for their prince, like many girls, I wondered, how can a princess in a castle blessed with beauty, wealth and everything she can hope for, be unhappy? I mean, does it matter if the prince arrives or not?”
With her eyes showing how truly broken she is, Naveena concluded, “Privilege without passion is nothing but slow poison to one’s existence.”
Leaning back in his chair, Prachin reminded her, “But in the same universe, how many maids wouldn’t even blink an eyelid to take the position of such a princess even after being informed about her agony? Privilege is a product of a title. We might give away our privileges and continue, but without the title, we mean nothing.”
Confused, Naveena asked, “Who said anything about giving up my title?
Leaning towards her, Prachin said, “Do you think a divorcee at the age of twenty-six will have gentlemen queued up to remarry her? Maybe in the la-la-land, you are living in now, it might work, but here in the country of our birth, you are nothing short of spoiled goods.”
With a smile on her face, Naveena asked, “Do you want me to tremble at the thought of being judged and rejected? Then I should already be on my knees, fearing the regret I will bear at the end of my life, wasting every minute of it and dreading giving up what isn’t even mine. The title, of course.”
With a smirk, Prachin nodded in agreement before saying, “If you give up on people for their shortcomings, you will keep seeking happiness all your life and yet fail miserably.”
Finishing her cola, Naveena replied, “The problem here isn’t exactly a shortcoming.”
Unable to fathom how she convinced herself so much, Parchin just started, “Marriage is much more complicated than a relationship….”
Interrupting him, Naveena replied, “Unfortunately, it is nothing but a technicality for the law. Breaking from one isn’t the end of the world.”
Fedup, Prachin retorted, “So says the girl who couldn’t even oppose it when her father sold her off like cattle.”
Pissed off, Naveena confronted, “What do you want me to do? Rebel against a man who is willing to blackmail his daughter about his demise emotionally? I did what I did to not make him stoop any lower.”
Pointing his index finger on the table, Prachin exclaimed, “And now, after living up to the title of being a devoted daughter, you decide to rebel against a man who is soft and hopeful of leading a life with you?”
Utterly horrified and raising her hands, Naveena asked, “Do you want me to throw away the rest of my life too? I threw enough of it already.”
Leaning back in his chair, Prachin declared, “I want you to understand that you cannot always have it your way.”
Leaning forward, Naveena stated, “I can & I will.”
Both of them look at each other for a moment, and a moment of silence follows. Pulling out a cigarette from her purse, Naveena asked as she searched for her lighter, “Enough about me. How is your cutie-pie?”
Bothered that she is still smoking even after all these years, especially after she promised him that she would quit, Prachin neglectfully replied, “She is good.”
Knowing for a fact that he is furious about how she is dealing with her life, Naveena didn’t want to think much about it. Lighting her cigarette, she said, “An adjective every artist worth his salt dreads.”
With a sarcastic smile, Prachin questioned, “What do you want me to say? She is fantastic?”
Smiling at his response, Naveena blew the smoke before asking, “Do you want me to believe a girl who is willing to snatch a boy with a broken heart and pacify him with sex has a fantastic life?”
Gawking at her, Prachin exclaimed, “Someone’s jealous.”
To which she instantly replied, “Someone’s stupid.”
Looking at the nearby table, Prachin defended, “You have always misunderstood her.”
Taking another puff, Naveena asked, “Misunderstood? She proposed two days after my phone call, and you guys hooked up before even a week passed. What do I misunderstand here if not for her careful planning?”
Unable to tolerate it, Prachin replied, “That she is not some escort. She is someone who deeply cares about me and has always taken good care of me.”
Putting her cigarette down on the table, Naveena curiously asked, “Good care? What is it that she gives you that others cannot?”
Staring into her eyes, Prachin sternly replied, “Trust.”
In silence, both of them stared into each other’s eyes for a moment before Naveena broke the eye contact by saying, “And I can show you a bunch of girls who can do much better than that.”
Enjoying every word of it, Prachin sarcastically replied, “And somehow you aren’t even in this bunch you could happily point at.”
Biting her teeth, Naveena replied, “I’m just saying, she is just one in the majority of girls whose first instinct is to say yes and try her best to keep you happy.”
Sipping his lemonade, Prachin replied, “Not every girl needs to be a force of opposition.”
To which Naveena casually replied, looking around, “And not every guy needs to be a submissive agent.”
Resting in their chairs on that cold night, both of them realised that they had reached a point where there was no going back. For a moment, one of them questioned themselves as to how it all started before Naveena whispered, “I still remember how you walked into my class to propose. I was in my fourth year, and you were a second-year student. I was your super-senior, and your proposal stunned everyone in the room. I mean, it was nothing short of a movie.”
Rethinking his actions, Prachin remarked, “And you think I’m stupid now.”
Getting excited, Naveena said, “Absolutely. At least back then, you had the balls to do what you believed in.”
With a smile, Prachin replied, “And look where that got me?”
Disappointed as to how he now reflects on such a beautiful memory, Naveena asked, “But wasn’t every moment worth it?”
Realising he was hurting her, Prachin replied, “It was, but I’m done with that life. I now want a girl who plays along.”
Pulling another cigarette, Naveena replied, “Pity.”
Triggered by her action, Prachin said, “No. What’s pitiable is your attitude towards life.”
Taking a puff, Naveena replied, “Hmm. What difference would it make? I will be called foolish if I ruin my life with my decisions, and it wasn’t something I wasn’t called earlier.”
Realising how time has changed both of them, Prachin replied, “The irony is that I used to be you, and you were me. You were submissive, and I was the rebel. But look at us now.”
Grinning, Naveena concluded, “That’s what happens when you realise how your incompetence makes you lose something so worthy that your life is no longer the same.”
Unable to take it anymore, Prachin signalled to the waiter for the bill. Staring at him & hoping to know what made him visit her, Naveena asked, “So why did you come when I called? You are not here for my therapy.”
Thinking about it for a moment, Prachin hesitantly replied, “I wanted to inform you in person that I’m marrying that escort after all.”
Though surprised, Naveena maintained her composure as she replied, “And I broke your announcement with mine.”
Before Prachin said another word, the waiter returned with their bill, and when Prachin placed the entire bill, Naveena placed her share, and Prachin took some of his money back. Standing up while putting his purse back in his pocket, Prachin said, “Naveena, I haven’t met your husband, and I don’t know a thing about him, but if everything you say adds up, then I think you shouldn’t give up. Since you called me to offer my point of view, there you go. I wouldn’t want you to destroy yourself.”
When he was almost set to leave, Naveena offered her free advice in return by saying, “All right. I respect that, and I would like to return the favour by saying, get the fuck out of that girl’s life and build yourself to have a challenging partner. Don’t let one bitter experience dictate your life decisions. It is beneath you.”
For one last time, both of them looked at each other before Prachin left. Though there was a part of her that really would want him to support her and there was a part of him that would prefer to listen to her, neither of them was willing to do what was expected of them. In the pursuit of finding comfort by resolving their past, both of them have lost their existing peace of mind too and have raised more questions than they have answered.
Credits
This contribution is reviewed by Edlyn D’souza, edited by Tarun Chintam, proofread by Rajiv R Nair & photographed by Ravindra Patoju.
Product
This story is also available in paperback & ebook.
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“Divorce is daffy?” & “Privilege without passion is nothing but slow poison to one’s existence” are the best you have ever come up with until now. The dialogues in this story are awesome! The banter has a flow that is engaging. Makes me wonder if this is based on true incidents? LOL.
I enjoyed the overall give n take between the characters and how it escalated till the end. The attempt to explain the actions done by the characters is good but the story's soul is the conversation and these explanatory phrases break the flow. The initial paragraphs felt too much complicated and unnecessary. Good attempt by the writer to paint the scene. On first look the cover photo seems to be lacking content but the story's ending defines it. Although the photograph could have been better.