Absolution
- Harsha Modukuri
- May 5, 2021
- 11 min read
Updated: Nov 14
Trigger Warning: Suicide
Bhargav was going to do awful things that night and the worst among them was not just killing himself. He carefully planned them, leaving nothing to chance. It took a lot of guts to even consider suicide, but Bhargav was going through a rough patch since last year, and all it took was a breakup. The breakup was also not unexpected; both of them had been thinking about it for a year or so, but neither of them was ready to let their emotions take precedence. Giving priority to emotions and letting them run the show, they believed, was not something they could do freely.
There had been many misunderstandings and fights, but the emotional drama had devoured him up from the inside out. He wished he could get out of this relationship, but he was afraid he’d be left with no will to live because there wasn’t anyone worth living for. Everything started while they were at school like the typical stories seen in films. However, this was unusual in a way, because they both saw the relationship as an outlet for their emotions and desires.
Bhargav was sitting on his bed, while on the television, the newsreader diligently parroted the news. He tried to remember the first time they tried to get physical. It was more of a need than love for each other. He knew it, yet he was ashamed to admit it. Years later, when he would look back at those memories, he’d remember nothing except the passion they had for each other’s skin. Skin, more than heart, played an important role in bringing them together. Now, on this very day, when Bhargav decided to do whatever horrible acts that he believed were required, he tried to rack his brains to remember every last bit of it.
