The Wanderer

P. C. Ravuri
Jun 1, 2016
10 min read

Updated: Dec 5, 2024

I: A Concerned Friend

On a sunny day, as soon as doctor George opened his clinic, he had a friend waiting for him. Though it has been a few weeks since he last had a patient, he pretended to be a busy man and invited her to his cabin after killing twenty minutes doing absolutely nothing.

After both of them settled, the doctor could observe that Ana was quite tense. Before he even asked her as to what happened, she mentioned, “George, I didn’t know whom else to consult. I need your help to find my friend.”

Asking her to take a deep breath, George took two cups from the shelf beside him and served coffee from the flask he carried from home every morning. Passing a cup to Ana, he mentioned, “I’ll certainly help you. Could you just tell me everything in detail and not rush through?”

Looking into the doctor’s black eyes, Ana replied, “One of my friends is missing and I cannot help but feel that he is in danger.”

George was sceptical. This was the first time Ana was reaching out to help someone. For all the time he knew her, this was the last thing he expected of her. So after tasting his sweet coffee served with milk, he asked, “Can you tell me details about your friend?”

Ana took her first sip of coffee before stating, “His name is Felix and we are colleagues. In fact, we share a cubicle at work.”

George realized this isn’t just a friend she was talking about. Ana described Felix to be unique compared to the other guys she worked with. She mentioned that he was an introvert and seldom shared his views.

Looking at her troubled oval face and ponytail, George suspected Ana might really be invested in Felix considering how she doesn’t usually care for others, let alone observe anyone around her. Meanwhile, Ana continued, “Exactly four days ago, he resigned from his job and when I asked for a reason, Felix told me he was going in search of his Senorita.”

With his eyebrows raised, George confirmed, “Isn’t that just a title to address a young lady in Spanish?”

Ana nodded in agreement. Placing his cup of coffee on the rectangular table that separated them, George tried to clarify, “So your friend left his job and is wandering in search of a girl?”

Ana nodded again. Feeling confused, George interjected, “By any chance, is he travelling to Spain?”

Ana thought about it for a moment before saying, “I’m not sure. I have come to you suspecting he is lost in his loneliness and is destroying himself.”

Taking a deep breath, George questioned, “And why do you think so?”

Looking at the doctor for a moment as he curiously waited for her answer, Ana replied, “After he left his job, I visited him at his home. He wasn’t there, so using my spare key, I entered his home and witnessed his thoughts through his wall paintings and took time to read his diary too.”

After finishing her sentence, Ana passed the diary to the doctor. Taking it, George replied, “I’m sure this might inform me more about him than he does in person. I’ll need time to comprehend his intentions.”

Ana impatiently pleaded, “Please get it done as soon as you can.”

II: The Suggested Book

Ana tried tracking Felix with the help of cyber police but since he wasn’t carrying his phone, they couldn’t trace him. Even trying to locate him through money vending machines didn’t help because the last time he used them, he was in the city.

Meanwhile, a few police officers checked the travel records to confirm that Felix hadn’t left the country. Every contact Ana sought told her they didn’t know where he was or where he would have gone.

Two days passed by and even George didn’t call back. Just as Ana started to feel that she had lost Felix, while eating her lunch, she received a message from George saying, “Meet me as soon as you can.”

She immediately rushed to his place taking a leave that afternoon in hopes that the middle-aged psychiatrist might have found something. Noticing an excited yet tense Ana, George offered her a glass of water as soon as she settled down.

Looking at her, George said, “This case is quite interesting. Your friend is very unique and could be in grave danger, if he is not helped.”

Ana curiously asked “Why? What did you find out? Can you help him?”

George smirked. He knew how tough it was going to be to find Felix, as he is a fantasizer whose reality is his dreams.

However, he said “Your friend’s personality is quite intriguing. I have never been more motivated to take up a case like this but I will need more evidence of the theory which I’m using as a reference before we start helping and to do so we must speak to Father Joseph.”

Ana read from the diary that every Friday, Felix confessed his sins as he believed that God would forgive him and give him a lovable life if he did so. But, she never thought talking to the priest would help.

Soon, both of them visited the church that evening. As they walked in, they could see father Joseph sitting in the front row reading a book. Midway, George called out, “You must be father Joseph. Hello, sir! I am George, a psychiatrist and this is my friend Ana. Both of us have come to seek your help with rescuing Felix.”

The old father stood up and shook hands with George and Ana tried to take a look at the book in his other hand as it did not seem to be a Bible. Father Joseph questioned them, “How come both of you know Felix?”

As George sat on the second bench and the father sat back in his spot but this time facing the psychiatrist, Ana answered, “Father, Felix is my colleague and four days ago he left his job to go in search of a girl he referred to as Senorita. As far as I know, no boy would ever leave his job to find a girl, but he did. At first, I thought he wasn’t serious but I soon realised he was. So I went to his apartment the next day to talk some sense into him and could not find him. I even...”

Staring at her keenly, Father Joseph interrupted by saying, “Are you, Ana? Felix spoke about you almost every time he came here and Mr George, nice to meet you. So both of you have come to me to help Felix from what?”

George leaned forward before saying in a steady voice, “Felix is mentally unstable and is insecure. He is afraid of loneliness so much so that he imagines characters or voices to protect himself.”

Staring at George for a moment, Joseph explained, “I know he was lonely for a long time but he is not insane or crazy. He grew up in an orphanage which I oversaw and like most humans he sought what he didn’t possess, which was nothing more than love and care...”

Interrupting the old man in the hope of not listening to a lecture, George questioned, “He was excited to read ‘Misterio Señorita’ by Antonio, wasn’t he?”

Thinking about it for a moment, Joseph wondered as to how George knew about the book. He was pretty sure that Felix always excluded any reference about the book while only writing about Senorita in his diary. So he curiously asked, “How do you know about the book?”

George did not care to answer and asked again, “Tell us, father. What did Felix tell you before he made up his mind to leave for this girl?”

Without a moment of hesitation, Joseph simply answered, “Last week, Felix came to me and confessed his petty sins as usual but this time, he was unusually excited. Especially when he told me that his eternal lover was waiting for him.”

Realising the insanity of calling someone ‘eternal’ especially when he hasn’t even met her, Ana heard the father continue, “He told me that he has been hearing a girl’s voice which was very sweet for a long time now and that he talks to her every day. I have never questioned the voice because, for the first time in his life, he told me that ever since he started talking to this girl, he has lost the feeling of loneliness and was even excited about the future where he intended to meet her.”

Frustrated, George asked, “What about the book?”

Looking at both of them, the father replied, “It was recommended by her. From what I remember, when he asked to meet her, she told him that the book would unveil the way he would have to travel to meet her.”

Leaning back on the bench, George realised the correlation between the book and Felix’s thoughts as the father continued, “He asked me to advise him since he was stuck in a dilemma of travelling to meet her or continuing with his life. It was a tough decision because according to the book, he must let go of all his possessions before he started his journey in search of his lover like the protagonist in the book. Since I knew how much he suffered from loneliness, I asked him to not miss the opportunity if he thinks it is worth it.”

III: A Defence Mechanism

The old church was warm and light with candles all around. Looking at Christ on the cross, George collected his thoughts for a moment. Meanwhile, Ana sat in the adjacent row of benches. Before the father even asked him any more, George explained “A few decades ago, a poet who we now know as Antonio wrote a lot of his work through the years about darkness and loneliness. Reading his work, his only friend and last living relation reached out to a psychiatrist. After a clean study, the psychiatrist told Antonio’s friend that Antonio’s thoughts have been overcrowded with darkness and the will for hope has been shattered to such an extent that not even one thought of faith isn’t left in him.”

As Ana and the father realised Antonio was a lot like Felix, George continued, “The psychiatrist suggested that he would treat Antonio by making use of his strong internal desire to travel. So he created a character in Antonio’s mind named Senorita, a girl who provoked interest in Antonio to travel whenever he felt lonely. Thinking that it could help, Antonio’s friend accepted and for about the next few years Antonio wrote the best poetry as he travelled listening to the voice of Senorita.”

Confused, Ana asked, “But how could someone just manifest a character out of nowhere that speaks to Antonio every day?”

Clapping his hands in excitement, George replied, “The voice was just his subconscious trying to help him and the psychiatrist turned this voice into a character.”

As Ana realized where Felix’s voice manifested from, George continued, “Eventually, Antonio started having feelings for Senorita and asked her if he could meet her. She asked him to follow her voice and she guided him to travel to various places eventually promising to meet him. Building beautiful memories and living every day to its best, Antonio wrote his finest work. As time passed by, his perception of love and violence also changed. For about two years, he relished his life and his last work was Misterio Señorita, where he narrated his journey to meet his soulmate.”

Bothered as to where the voice could lead him, Ana asked, “If Senorita is a fictional character, how can he find her?”

Taking a deep breath, George replied, “From what I’ve read, the voice in his head made him travel a specific path choosing all the spots Antonio wanted to travel, finally leading him to a cave where the voice promised him to reveal herself. When he went in, he could see nothing but a dark pit. It is believed that he has lost once and for all. Crying in pain, he threw his book and not wishing to live any longer he killed himself as he felt betrayed. However his book remained as his legacy and since the story is left abruptly with no conclusion about meeting his Señorita, it attracted many readers and is an inspiration to many as the truth is always a sour pill but lies are as sweet as honey.”

Joseph did not understand the intention of the voice, so he asked “Why a cave? Why not a pit in the graveyard?”

Thinking about it, George clapped in excitement again before he replied, “When I got to learn about Antonio in my study of psychology, there is a concept called subconscious memory which will help humans defend themselves from losing themselves when they require mental strength. Antonio read a poem every day titled “The Cave of Desires” which says that Gods have left a cave in the mysterious hills which satisfies every desire a human has and this poem made the voice think of the cave as his destination.”

Joseph stammered as he realised, “So now... Felix is chasing behind the path Antonio left and when he will find out that there isn’t a senorita he would also be lost. Oh! No! What have I done?”

For the first time, all three of them now understood the trouble Felix was in.

IV: The Taser

Felix has been travelling for a week and had finally reached the blue hill that the voice in his head insisted he visit. When he almost got into the cave, he could see a girl standing in a white ballet dancer costume facing the other side while standing on a stone at the centre of the pond that was formed due to a small hole in the cave’s roof.

He raced towards her to peek as he always imagined his Senorita as a ballet dancer. He tried imagining faces to her body as he paced towards her and when he finally reached her, he could see that she was Ana. He was awestruck as she has been with him all these days just beside his cabin and he could not even guess that she was his senorita. He walked near her and she calmly said, “I’m sorry for doing this but this is for your own good.”

Saying this she tasered him thereby knocking him unconscious.

Felix opened his eyes hours later and he could see that he was tied to a bed and he could not yell as his mouth was also plastered. While he noticed the small room which only could accommodate one bed, George walked in. Noticing him waking up, he said, “Hello Felix, I am George, your only friend as of now. I will help you let go of your madness and...”

Before he completed his statement, Ana knocked on the door and George exited the room. Shaking his hand, Ana heartily said “Thank you, George. I am in your debt forever.”

Hoping to inform her, George replied, “I am angry at you, Ana. If you love Felix, you should have told it to him a long time ago as he would not have started his search or would have even needed to think of a fictional senorita. Frankly, it is your shyness that caused the whole thing in a way.”

The doctor’s words wiped Ana’s smile once and for all. However, she wanted to ask, “I’m sorry... by the way, how did you know about the ballet dancer?”

With a smile, George replied, “Most of the crazy people out there have the same signature line. Felix loved the poem titled “The Ballet Dancer” by Julius and I presumed that he would love his Senorita dressed like that.”

Smiling back, Ana said, “I’m glad it worked.”

Looking at her, George could see she regretted her mistake. Holding her hand between his, he promised, “I will cure him as soon as possible and it shall be alright soon.”