“My brother to my left, my brother to my right. Together we stand, together we fight” read a poster as I walked to the courtroom. It transported me back to the old days when this saying was our impetus chant. We were introduced as the brothers who were destined to defend our motherland and only death could send us back to her abode. In service, we were unaware when we bonded nor were we aware when we parted, but all that we knew was to defend each other until the end. When I look back, five years ago, the day I arrived at the Officers Training Academy I sat quietly at a bench waiting for my document verification. Although it had only been a few hours since my parents left, I was already feeling homesick. Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder and when I looked back, a guy with a lean figure smiled at me and asked me to make space for him. Little did I know that it wasn’t just the space on the bench but a large space in my life as well that Shyam would occupy. Since then, there wasn’t a day that passed by without talking to him. Cover Photo by Pankaj Tottada In the beginning, our family of thirty cadets fought as if there was no tomorrow. We competed in everything and held ranks of hate against each other. In time, with the cross country runs, the morning drills, the afternoon shooting practices, the evening basketball matches along with creative and unforgettable punishments, our trainers turned us into men and we turned from strangers to brothers.

Trigger Warning: Suicide Naina stood at the edge of the water tank and closed her eyes. Her thoughts took her back in time to when she was in school. In an old house, her aunt and cousin held young Naina before she was about to run away, not wanting to listen to them. As she looked at them with her eyes wide open, her eldest cousin said, “Your parents will always keep fighting because of your Zodiac sign! They are most unfortunate to have you.” Gawking at her, Naina’s aunt said in a sad voice, “My sister never had a peaceful life. Her husband made it even more complicated but this kid just made it worse. Look at her…” ​ Turning towards Naina, she cursed, “She is like a dirtbag breathing life. Even her fate is ugly.” They stared at her as Naina’s cousin suggested, “Let’s admit her in the boarding school that I’m working in mama. I will keep an eye on her and she can stay away from my uncle and aunt and that will offer them the little peace they are hoping for.” The mother looked at her daughter for a moment and nodded in agreement. There was silence and darkness for a moment until another memory popped up. Young Naina stood in a corridor, while a thin short woman stood beside her. Naina stared at her parents while they left the boarding school and the women beside Naina took her inside. The next memory started with a phone ring and young Naina ran towards the corridor hopefully. The attendee picked up the phone to say, “Hey Naina!” Feeling delighted that she finally got a phone call from her parents after many months, Naina rushed to the phone with a beaming smile before the attendee said, “Can you call Archana? Tell her parents had called.”

Trigger Warning: Sexual Assault “I have always wondered why plastic melts when you heat it… Mamma never tells me why, because she is always busy working and fighting with Papa. And why has Papa not come yet? He said he would buy me that pink choki today, without fail. He keeps asking me for the name of the choki when I have already told him so many times — the name is pink choki, Papa. But he still asks for the name. Why do Mamma and Papa only ask questions but never answer? Hmm! “Hey Ammu! what are you doing up this late, that too alone.” “Hi Topi Uncle, I am waiting for Papa. He said he would buy me pink choki today no matter what. But see, he hasn't come yet.” “It’s okay Ammu, go inside now. Aren’t you feeling cold?” “No Topi Uncle” “You will catch a cold, go inside. When your Papa arrives, he will meet you inside.” “No! Mamma will tell him I have fallen asleep and Papa will go back home.” “But your papa is stuck somewhere, he may not be able to make it today.”

In the darkest night, the master of the spirits drenched in blood & ash, draped in tiger skin beneath his torso, got down Nandi, the bull calf and marched towards his mother fulfilling his promise with the light cast by Chandra, the Moon God resting in his dreadlocks. Standing before the gigantic gateway, the destroyer turned towards his devoted Nandi to command him to wait for him. Observing the gateway guarded by the uncountable number of invisible Devas, Shiva, the master of death was almost about to strike his Trishula, the trident onto the floor but Vasuki, the king of snakes and his loyal companion around his neck hissed about the impending doom. The destroyer and the incarnation of death just smiled before twirling his Trishula to play the damaru, a two-headed drum embedded onto the weapon before he leaned back and plunged his weapon into one of the black clouds creating a huge ball of exploding energy that revealed the Devas as the energy touched them. Leaving his Trishula, as the damaru continued playing, Shiva walked amongst the infinite number of Devas in their astral forms manifested out of the energy of Shakti as they paved the way before kneeling to the almighty. Turning towards Nandi, Shiva noticed that his companion was worried about him and just smiled.

Butterfly, an unwanted nickname… “Can I call you butterfly?” He looked at me for a mere second and laughed out loud “Who in the world gives such a nickname to a man?” he said. Maybe it’s true no one ever wants to call them an insect name. But he never knew that that animal is the one that would describe him more perfectly than anything in the world. Everyone notices its beauty

Her eyes Her eyes are horizontal raindrops Her eyes look at me like her heart pops Her eyes take me beyond the horizon

There was something, Something in my eyes, that did not die. Closed in avalanches; but did not cry. I wrote prose, In the heart of the beast. Hoping it adheres to the wisdom of a priest.

ఆకృతి లేకుండా ప్రతీ అచ్చు ఈ మట్టిని ఆధారం చేసుకుంటుంది తెరచాటు పుడమిలో మిళితమైన పదార్థాల గుట్టు, కళంకం అంటని పరిశీలించే కంటికి కాక మరెవరికి తేటపడును...? మనోహర్ కోవిరి ఫోటో తీశారు పుట్టుక ఎన్నేన్నో పొరలు చాటున ఎవరికి వారికి తమతోనే పూర్తి పరిచయం తెలియక సాగిపోతుంటుంది హృదయం నిన్ను కన్నప్పుడు అక్కరకు రాని ప్రతీ రాయి తొలగిపోయి లోలోపల వెలికితీసి విలువనిస్తుంది సుఖాలు, వేదనలు మరెన్నో భావాల మధ్య నీనుండి నన్ను వేరుపరచి అధికారం కోసం ఊగిసలాడుతూ దాసుని కమ్మంటుంటాయి ఈ బ్రతుకు కాలంలో కలిసినప్పుడు విశ్రాంతి వాటికి బదులిస్తుంది బృందం ఈ పుస్తకాన్ని మిరియాల సుధాకర్ రాసినది , హర్ష మోదుకూరి  సమీక్షించారు, మధూలిక ఆచంట  సంపాదకత్వం వహించారు మరియు మనోహర్ కోవిరి  ఫోటో తీశారు.

I woke up as my smartwatch vibrated indicating the alarm. I tried double tapping it in an attempt to turn it off but my effort didn’t pay back. Giving up, I woke up and sleepwalked to the window near my bed. The sound of water dripping from clouds felt refreshing as the cold breeze tickled me. I wished it was the weekend today so that I could stay back and enjoy these little pleasures; the earthy smell of rain, the rhythmic pitter-patters with a cup of hot coffee.  Cover Photo by Ravindra Patoju Like a rejection of my wish, a sudden shrill of Rihanna’s ‘Work’ came from my phone. Peering towards the phone, I hesitantly picked up Arun’s wake-up call. “You woke up buddy?” he asked. While I replied, “Yes.” He continued, “Okay, start early then! It’s raining and you could get late due to a surge in traffic. See you at the office.” Before I could even respond, he had hung up. I quickly rushed to the main door only to realize that the road in front of our porch is fully covered with water. I collected the newspaper which was dropped outside the main door and rushed to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. The kitchen was all messy with a lot of unwashed utensils in the sink. I cursed myself for skipping the task of cleaning the dishes last night. Letting them wait a little while longer, I went to Ritu’s room to check if she had woken up.  As soon as I entered her room, I could see her sleeping with her curly hair loose in her minion-printed night suit while holding her new teddy bear. Looking around, I could see all her toys and Peppa Pig books lying on the floor.  After arranging all of her books in a two feet height rack and placing her toys in the mesh-hanger, I could see the Sun paying a visit after the early morning showers. In an attempt to not let the rays disturb Ritu, I closed the curtains in her room.  Though I hoped to not make noise, to my disappointment as soon as I turned around after closing the curtain, I could see Ritu sitting on her bed, with a puzzled expression. Taking her in my arms, I asked while caressing her forehead, “Why did my Ritu wake up early today?” She closed her eyes and placed her head on my shoulder. There was no reply and I was concerned. Her gloomy face said something was wrong and as usual, I took her to the garden in the backyard where she spent most of her time playing; with the hope that it might boost her mood.  As we stepped out to walk into the wet garden, Ritu turned to me before saying, “Momma, I saw...” Holding her face between my hands, I curiously asked, “My sweetling, what is it?” As I felt her cold face, Ritu replied, “I saw Papa but when I opened my eyes, he was not by my side. Why is he not beside me?” While I was bereft of speech, she said, “I am bored without him.” It was just a week ago that her dad had left for his onsite project and Ritu was already missing him. I cursed myself for insisting that he signed the new project agreement. Had I anticipated the impact it would have on our baby girl, I wouldn’t have. I walked back into the home to video-call him even though he would have already slept.  I wish the next few weeks roll by soon and Ritu hugs her favourite teddy as soon as possible. Credits This contribution was written by Maneeha Pujari , edited by R. K. Chamarla , & Sreekar Ayyagari & photographed by Ravindra Patoju .

Mr P woke up surprised listening to the nine o’clock bell from the college clock. As always, his roommate had already left. It didn’t matter which day it was, his roommate would leave without bothering to wake him up. Once, Mr P even missed a quiz depending on him. Neither could Mr P blame him nor could he find another roommate considering how everyone hated his hygiene. Getting down from his untidy bed, Mr P went to the common washroom, only to find all three sinks being used. He waited for a while but everyone seemed to be taking their own time. Cover Photo by Pankaj Tottada Not intending to be too late, Mr P smelt himself before starting to walk to the canteen. He felt that neither did he need a shower for that day nor a notebook for his class. The last time he wrote notes was two semesters ago. It was the last time he even tried to pay attention in order to achieve something in his life.

The early decades of the twentieth century were a politically active period for the Indian Subcontinent. The Indian National Congress, under the leadership of Mahatma Gandhi (Gandhiji), was gaining strength and public support. People were coming out against the British Government and the British people, especially the executive class in India. Bengal presidency was the most volatile region, being the first to be controlled by the British; it was simmering with great discontent and distrust. Gandhiji’s struggle against British suzerainty took great momentum after his successful protest against the British planters engaged in Indigo farming and production in Champaran, Bihar. Durbar Hall, Picture Credit: Tejkar Jha However, soon after the First World War, the Indigo industry slipped into a crisis due to the discovery and production of synthetic blue dyes in Germany, which was a detrimental blow to the indigo planters in British India. This led to a shift from indigo to sugarcane, and soon, north Bihar had at least 25 huge sugar factories. These factories, in addition to a large number of crushing mills, were producing raw sugar and jaggery. These mills and sugar factories were generally owned by zamindars and, to some extent, old British indigo planters. The Danbys As an aftermath of the post-Champaran movement and post-World War, British Indigo planters began to sell off their properties and return to their native place or migrate to African countries. Some of them stayed back to see if time would change for them. ​ In Hursinghpur, near Samastipur, there was an old “Danby” family [1] maintaining and running the sugar factory at Bowarrah [2]. This factory previously produced indigo, but now it was refitted with new machinery to produce sugar. It was supported by a huge farm and equally beautiful farmhouse or ‘Kothi’ [i]. The Danby family had migrated to India as late as 1901 in search of green pasture. But alas! They arrived when India was taking a firm stand to get independent. The distrust between the “subject” and “masters” was absolute. For an Indian, any man with white skin was an oppressor, and for any British, a native was not on par with them racially. ​ Gerald, along with his brother Edward and father, settled down at Bowarrah. Being of very pleasant personality and a very good polo player [3], they soon developed good relationships with the Darbhanga Raj family [ii]. Maharajakumar Kameshwar Singh [iii] and his younger brother Viseshwar Singh, popularly known as ‘Babuji’ were very fond of Gerald, though they were quite younger than Gerald. Both the brothers began visiting Bowarrah to play polo with the Danbys and vice versa. Gerald, being older and having come from England after completing his studies, soon began to change the outlook of both the brothers. On the one hand, Kameshwar learned about modern industrialization, the share market and modern farming from the Danbys, while Viseshwar took polo as a serious sport for himself. ​ The Darbhanga Raj had a big horse stud farm at Pusa, near Samastipur, and hence, horses required for the game were not a problem. Soon, the Darbhanga polo team began to be counted among the top teams in India. They won the prestigious Carmichael Cup at Kolkata many times. This led to the establishment of friendly terms with many big ruling chiefs of India as well as British Officers. The socialization through polo began to fetch good results for Darbhanga in other fields, too. The bond between Gerald and the princes grew stronger and stronger.   Picture Credit: Tejkar Jha By 1928, almost all the British planters had left Bihar. In July 1929, Maharaja Sir Rameshwar Singh left the world, and Kameshwar Singh succeeded him as Maharaja at the young age of 22 years. Soon, the Danbys, too, decided that the time in India was up for them. They sold off their factory and farm to Darbhanga Raj and came to Kolkata to board the ship to London. Both the brothers came to see them off. As the family took leave of the friends and was about to board the ship, the young Maharaja held Gerald's hands and looked into his eyes. Tears welled up, Kameshwar murmured, “Gerald, I need you. Darbhanga needs you”. The whole family boarded the ship; Gerald took his bag and returned with his Maharaja to Darbhanga. Till now, Gerald had limited exposure to Raj Darbhanga. The young Maharaja took him as his personal assistant in the head office. Soon, he found out that Darbhanga was the largest zamindari of Bihar and had a very bureaucratized setup of administration, but still, the revenue was not very good. The expense on charity was a bit too high, and so little fund was available for other development work. Both the friends discussed the plan thoroughly, and Gerald, now the Chief Manager of Raj Darbhanga, set out to conquer the sky for his Maharaja.   Gerald took over the mantle to develop the zamindari and freed the Young Maharaja from the zamindari duties so that he could dedicate himself to other important works such as politics, industrialization and investments in the world market. Gerald had a very good eye for good workers and managers. He appointed a circle manager [iv] in each of the 12 circles inherited. He introduced new land reform measures such as the “land rent remission scheme”, which was related to the productivity of the land and the tenant’s ability to pay. As a result, the tenantry began to look towards him as a fatherly figure. Productivity rose to make the peasants happy, and the sugar industry began to thrive and brought in more and more spendable funds. He began acquiring more and more land and soon had four new circles added to the 12 inherited ones, and all the circles became bigger and bigger. The boundaries of Raj Darbhanga spread across 2400 square miles. The Act of God In 1934, North Bihar suffered its most destructive earthquake. Raj Darbhanga was badly shaken. All the buildings, palaces, offices, hospitals, and schools were destroyed. Darbhanga town itself looked like it had been nuked. The Maharaja was at Calcutta. He rushed to Darbhanga and sat with his Chief Manager and other officers. He told them, “Look, one should take this as a challenge, a God-gifted challenge to make our Darbhanga more beautiful. Come on! Let’s start with a new zeal. Let us reconstruct our Darbhanga.” The Raj had a tough time negotiating with the government, and a new Darbhanga Development Authority was appointed. More than two and a half crore rupees were spared for the people of Darbhanga as help from the Raj for reconstruction. Danby and his handpicked men started working, and lo and behold! Picture Credit: Tejkar Jha In just one and a half years, a new Darbhanga emerged, so fine, so well planned that the Viceroy, Lord Willingdon and his wife came down to inspect and stay at Darbhanga for a couple of days. Every palace, temple, office quarter, road, lamp-post, dustbin alongside roads, and plantation of trees were personally supervised. In 1934, after the earthquake, Gandhiji gave a statement against the people of Bihar [4], for which he was opposed by the people with black flags wherever he went. On his visit to Bihar, he came to Darbhanga too [5]. It was the worst affected place, and hence, the government thought that the opposition to Gandhiji here would be worse. But the Maharaja asked his younger brother and Danby to personally receive Gandhiji and look after him. They sat beside Gandhiji while he spoke to the crowd. Not a single flag was raised nor a single slogan was shouted. Such was Danby’s rapport with the people. Managing the Darbhanga Raj was not a joke. He had to look after the zamindari, its revenue, administration, the complaints of the tenants, taxation, and relationship with the colonial government, as well as the political parties looking for more donations and personal benefits. In 1935-37, the peasants revolted at a few places in Bihar against the oppression by the zamindars. The local leaders of Congress tried to instigate the peasants under the Darbhanga Raj too. They almost succeeded, but due to personal handling of the situation by Danby, the issue subsided. He not only saw to it that the issue was nipped in the bud but also exposed the designs of local Congress leaders through his extensive interviews in the media and placement of facts with proofs. Darbhanga Raj saw no major revolt or violence. The Maharaja took up the issue with the Congress central leadership, and after a hectic negotiation with the government, a new Bihar Tenancy Act 1936 [6] was promulgated to bring relief to the tenants of other zamindars in Bihar. Picture Credit: Tejkar Jha Now was the time when new things could be experimented with. Maharaja asked Danby to introduce Cooperatives in the Villages and to give them seed money. Several agro-industries were set up and every department was modernized. Special attention was paid to the maintenance of the irrigation system, and never was the Raj a defaulter in tax payments. Huge investments in industrial ventures, mines, etc, across the globe started to bring in more and more money. Both the Maharaja and Danby planned to make Darbhanga a model state. But by 1946, it became clear that India would get independent in the next two years and that Congress would abolish/take over the zamindaris. Danby, after a long deliberation, presented a plan to the Maharaja. He said that the zamindari would be gone, and the Raj would not be able to support such a big army of staff. So, there should be gradual retrenchment. He asked himself to be removed as he was getting Rs 3500/- per month as salary and other perks, and he had not much of work other than management of Zamindari. Thus, he would be too expensive and of no use to the Raj. The Maharaja asked for some time to think on the issue and to wait until the zamindari was actually taken over by the government. In 1948, the state government brought in legislation to take over the zamindaris. Darbhanga filed a writ, and the government lost. The amendment to the new constitution was done, and the Right to Property was removed from the Fundamental Rights in 1951. The Raj again moved the court, and the government was about to lose the battle when a meeting was called at Darbhanga House Patna and Pt. Nehru [7] asked the Maharaja to give up for the sake of Democracy and was obliged. Now Danby pressed to be relieved. His entire family had shifted to England. The Maharaja would not let go of his friend. Danby was asked to look after the industries in Kolkata. So Danby was accorded a final farewell as Chief Manager and was sent to Kolkata. But Danby knew that he was not contributing his bit to the Raj but drawing much more. ​ One fine day, he flew off to England without telling anybody, even the Maharaja. The Maharaja, when he came to know about it, was very upset, very angry. Time passed. Things began to look up. Maharaja usually stayed in New Delhi now. In one of the social evenings, he came across Danby in 1953. Danby kept quiet; the Maharaja also did not wish him but made some very sarcastic remarks indirectly. After a few days, Danby wrote a letter to his Maharaja, an 8-page letter, at times called him “Kameshwar”, at times “My Maharaja”, and at times just “K”. Picture Credit: Tejkar Jha He wrote, ‘I had to go as I was just a huge burden on your exchequer’, ‘Do you remember the effect of just one word of yours on me? I had disembarked from the ship, taking my entire family to England. Do you think I could have ever been able to leave Darbhanga if I heard again that Darbhanga needs me.’ He went on to say, “K, my entire family was in England. If I stayed back now, I won’t be able to go back to them forever.” Danby writes, “My Maharaja, you and I took Raj Darbhanga to a place as high as this, achieving more than 25% average annual growth. And all because I never heeded to the impact of the people’s attitude. The natives never trusted me as I was a British, and my own countrymen did not trust me as I worked for a native King. I had only one thing to consider, and that was our friendship, the love and affection of Babuji. It will remain the same. I did not reply to your sarcastic comments just because you are my Maharaja, my friend and my Kameshwar.” The letter cleared the heart of the Maharaja. He met the family whenever he went to England and played host to them in India. But Danby never went back to Darbhanga. In 2010, his grandson Robert came to visit Darbhanga, and he saw the Danby's bungalow, the statue of Lord Ganesh put up by his grandmother and the Danby Road and the whole of Darbhanga. He said, “Till his last days Gerald would say ‘My Darbhanga’ and ‘My Maharaja’”, and tears would start flowing as words would become silent. Notes i. Kothi is a term used for the houses of Planters initially in the 17th and 18th centuries in Bihar. ​ ii. The family has the zamindari of Sarkar Tirhut. Sarkar Tirhut was known as Darbhanga as it was its capital. Sarkar Tirhut consisted of the revenue zone as a unit extending north of river Ganges upto the Tarai of Nepal iii. Maharajakumar was the term used for the person designated to succeed the Maharaja. ​iv. The entire zamindari was divided into small areas for the ease of administration and this was known as a ‘Circle’ ​References Bowarrah Reference   Danby Bowarrah Reference I Danby Bowarrah Reference II   Kindly refer to the reports in the newspapers of 1934 and the CID reports in the Bihar State Archives. Gandhi Darbhanga Visit Reference Papers of Dr Rajendra Prasad, compiled and edited by Dr Balmiki Singh, published in 14 volumes from Rajendra Smriti Trust. This is mentioned in the memoirs of Mazharul Haq, who was a very famous Congress leader from Bihar. Credits This contribution is written by Tejkar Jha , reviewed by Vaidurya Pratap Sahi , edited by Ahna Sahi .

अपने हिस्से की सांस, मैंने शिव के पास रख दी है। और सारी मन्नतों के धागे, पीपल के पेड़ से खोल आई हूँं। सोचती हूँं! अब ब्रह्मा से पूछूँं, शनि और सूर्य के युद्ध में, पृथ्वी बीच में आ जाए तो ? लोग कहते हैं, यमुना का पानी जहरीला है।