Like the wave that reached my feet when I had been a slave to my inner beast I wouldn’t either let myself sink or sail Cover Photo by Manohar Koviri I wouldn’t either let myself win or fail I was numb

Forgive for I’m not sorry I didn’t do nothing wrong. It’s your own fault you’re hurting. You look even dumber with that face so long. I tried to reach out and help you. Even ignored all of your drama. It’s your own fault you’re hurting. What’s biting you… is your Karma.

As a child, my favourite pastime was going for walks with my grandmother in my sweet home town and loved hearing the bedtime stories by my mother. These stories were mostly derived from the preachings of some wise holy men, whose sermons we often attended and few from the enlivening artforms of harikatha and burrakathalu which were staged during the festive seasons. Though having forty winks in between, a few stories made an indelible impression in my mind. During one of the sessions, a holy man once said in a humorous tone, “There are only two people with eternal bliss of happiness, one who could digest his food within two hours of his supper and one who after a day-long work, dozes off with loud snores, absolutely heedless of the inmates of the room.” The hall was filled with laughter, but I took some time to get it. With these golden tenets in my mind, I always tried to live a demure, simple yet happy contented life with my family for forty years, still enjoying going for walks and above all having sound sleep after all my household duties. Sound sleep was where I always slipped into the fantasy world of dreams which I account for avidly reading the books like Alice in Wonderland and other fairy tales that the 90’s kids usually read. Though I couldn’t really understand the subtle alchemy of my dreams and often wondered as a kid which ethereal place they come from, I eventually and more maturely tried to distinguish whether their origin was in my heart or in the encephalon, I cease to explain, maybe never can! But clearly, they made a deep impact.

Sometimes to vent, some words that make them repent. At times just as a joke, to pull the leg of the new bloke.

TRRRRRRRRINGGGGG! TRRRRRRRRINGGGGG TRRRRRRRRINGGGGG! Blared the alarm from the phone. This alarm, just an hour before midnight, was a reminder for her that she should get to bed and end the day. It was at that time that she heard a faint sound that seemed like it was the main door knob opening. She wanted to go out to the living room and check if anyone had come into the house, but she was way too lazy to get out of her cosy bed. The next day was going to be a special one and she didn’t want to trouble herself. She was supposed to be alone for the month as her flatmates had gone to their respective homes. She went back to reading her book “All the light we cannot see”, a war novel about a blind French girl and a German boy who try to survive the devastation of World War II. A little while after that, she saw a blinking light from under the door, it wasn’t natural but that didn’t seem to push her to get out of bed. She tried to put the distractions aside and went back to reading about how, during the war, despite the situations or circumstances that were in front of them, people tended to be very understanding and find ways to help each other. She hears one more sound and is pissed with what’s happening outside her room, she texts on the flat’s Whatsapp group asking if anyone is home to which the others reply negatively. She wanted to get back to her book, but the sudden thought of not having anyone around her got to her head and she started sobbing.

I asked a bunch of youngsters, “What is… life all about?” They said, “Life is an adventure”. But, in my mind, I still had a doubt.

“It’s vacation time!” Instead of going for a normal picnic with friends this time, I have decided to spend time with my grandparents in their native village. I was overwhelmed about this trip, so I quickly booked the tickets and shared my trip details with them over the phone; while speaking, I could visualize the sense of joy in their voice. When I reached the village train station, regardless of their age, both of them visited the railway station to receive their beloved grandson with so much love and affection. Believe me, the elders’ love is priceless. We returned back home from the railway station in a bullock cart. That was the first time I was transported in that vehicle. Though it was very hot during summer, it was an enjoyable experience throughout our ride and very comfortable as well. On the way back home, my grandparents narrated various events & activities happening around so that I can get a feel of the rural atmosphere and as an urbanite; it was very interesting for me to know the little things. Everywhere it was surrounded by tall trees, huge mountains & little plants with beautiful flowers, just mind-blowing to see Mother Nature. We saw a group of people engaged in pottery activities and prepared porcelain, mud, and ceramic pots. When I entered home, a small cat jumped and welcomed us by saying, “Meow”, surely one of the cutest creatures that can give company to old people. My grandmother gave milk to that little one and gave a hi-fi for welcoming her!

A crisp blank sheet with no wrinkle or crease. Well calculated angles. Perfect folds. Open space and a light breeze.

There are people who let you down. There are those who pick you up. And then there’s also ‘You’, who can just as well do both. There are some who will watch you drown. There are those who will help you float. And then there’s ‘You’, who can dive deep within your soul.

Let’s start with an incomplete question… “What is your worth?” Was it given to you at birth? The first time you cried. Was it decided by the colour of your skin or your family’s status and pride?

While the truth might seem fair to you, but for some it’s hardly that! Innocent are some liars knew he – who on the chair of judgement sat.

A guy with a long list is titled ‘Romantic’. But a girl is just labelled a ‘Tramp’. He can show-off his well chiselled body. But if she does, she’ll just be given another stamp. His late nights at the office are deemed hectic. But a girl would be labelled a ‘Whore’. He can have guests over at any time. But a girl shouldn’t welcome any male at her door.